Did That Flaming Bush Just Talk To Me?

By: C.N.

Insecurity. We all deal with it. Some people don’t think that they’re good enough to be used by God. We’ve all heard the excuses before: “I’m not a great talker,” “I’m not a great singer,” “I haven’t read the entire Bible,” “I don’t think that I’m smart enough to be used by God,” and blady, blady, blah! Listen, it doesn’t matter if your singing sounds like a cat gargling Drano on a hot summer day. It doesn’t matter if a Styrofoam cup has more charisma than you do. God loves us all equally, and he has given every single one of us special talents (please refer to my last post, “Something Fishy is Going On! Jonah & The Whale”->https://jesusbedtimestories.com/something-fishy-is-going-on-jonah-the-whale/) that he can use for his glory. The key is that we must be ready and willing to do what God asks us to do; he’ll make sure that we have the resources to do so. That’s the least we can do, seeing as how he sent his son, Jesus Christ, into the world to save us filthy peasants (just kidding..,sort of) from our equally filthy sins (you disgust me! Just kidding. Haha); Jesus died for you and I, and as such, we literally owe him our lives. God works through a ready and willing servant to perform his miracles and deliver his messages, and when we allow God to use us, we’ll be able to do things that we never thought possible. This brings us to the story of Moses and the burning bush.

In the third chapter of Exodus (second book of the Bible), we see Moses minding his own business and tending to his father-in-law’s sheep. The day started out like any other (like all of you kiddies getting up for school in the morning, almost drowning in the shower because you’re half asleep, and almost putting your eye out with the toothpaste because there’s an eyelash in the way), but then, out of nowhere, Moses sees a fiery bush, but it’s not burning to a crisp. You heard that right, folks. Moses saw a flaming bush, but it didn’t burn up. That’s almost as strange as Mickey Mouse wearing a three-piece suit and trying to sell me car insurance. Like any of us would do in this situation, Moses walked up to the bush to figure out what was going on. Suddenly, God began speaking to Moses, and he told Moses that he was heartbroken to see how Pharaoh (the Egyptian king) was mistreating the Israelites, and he had chosen Moses to free the Israelites from slavery (let my people go!). Moses wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear this news, as he didn’t think that he was the right man for the job (he was scared, y’all). Once God told Moses that he would be with him, Moses asked for God’s name, as he wanted to tell the Israelites who had sent him. God’s response was the following:

Exodus 3:14-15 (NIV)–And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you. And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, the Lord God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath sent me unto you: this is my name for ever, and this is my memorial unto all generations.

Snap, snap! Is that answer clear enough for you, Moses? God’s name is “I Am,” and he is the God of all generations-yesterday, today, and forever. God showed his power by turning Moses’ staff (a big stick for walking and protection) into a snake, and back into a staff again, as well as turned Moses’ hand white with leprosy (big white bumps all over the skin-much different from acne),  and healed it again. God also noted that if the elders still thought Moses was crock full of it after these first two signs, then Moses would pour water from the Nile River onto the dry ground, and the water would become blood. Talk about miracles! Somehow, some way, this wasn’t enough for Moses (he was tweaking!), as he still didn’t think that he was a good speaker. To fix that, God promised Moses that his older brother, Aaron, would do all of the talking for him; God would use Moses to tell Aaron what to say-big bro for the save and the win! With that, Moses and Aaron went to Egypt, where the Jews were enslaved, Aaron told the elders how God would free the Jewish Israelites, and Moses showed them the signs (the staff-snake,  the leprosy-hand healed, the water-blood). The elders were so happy to hear this wonderful news; God had answered their prayers! The elders immediately bowed down and worshiped God. God for the win again (no one should be surprised)! We know that God hears our prayers and is a miracle worker, but I wonder how things would have played out had this happened today? Let’s find out how! NOTE: I will be utilizing modern-day language, technology, and ways of living in the story, as we’re picturing this happening today.

Did That Flaming Bush Just Talk To Me?

By: C.N.

Biblical Reference: Exodus 3:1-22 (KJV, NIV)

Moses (minding his own business and tending to the sheep): Is that bush on fire? How is it not burning to the ground right now? What in the world kind of creepy “It’s Th-Th-Thriller!” type stuff is this?! Dead bush living (the Walking Dead meets the Sitting Dead?). I wonder if someone did something to the bush or put something in it? I need to investigate. Come here, little bushy. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s a good bush. Just hold still and don’t attack me.

GOD ALMIGHTY: Moses, Moses…Here am I.

Moses: God? Is that you? I know that you’re all powerful and can talk through trees and stuff, but I need to make sure that this is actually you. I haven’t eaten today and I still need to take my medication-I just want to make sure that I’m not losing it. Who am I talking to?

GOD ALMIGHTY: Moses, Moses…Here am I. I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows; And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites. Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel is come unto me: and I have also seen the oppression wherewith the Egyptians oppress them.  Come now therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel out of Egypt.

Moses: Wait a minute, God. With all due respect, you want ME to free the children of Israel from slavery? I don’t think that I’m the right man for the job. I almost cried during “The Notebook” and nearly wet myself when I saw a spider in my bathroom the other day. You need someone much stronger and tougher than I am to do this. I’m a punk.

GOD ALMIGHTY: Certainly I will be with thee; and this shall be a token unto thee, that I have sent thee: When thou hast brought forth the people out of Egypt, ye shall serve God upon this mountain. *God struts his stuff by turning Moses’ staff into a snake, back into a staff, as well as turning Moses’ hand white with leprosy, and healing it again*

Moses (so nervous that he thinks he’s going to hurl): Okay, God. I’ll do what you say. I still don’t know, though. I’m not a good talker. You know how I get around people-all mumbled mouthed, stuttering, spitting all over myself, and sounding like a confused minion or lost child from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Derp! Derp! Derp!). I don’t want to embarrass you, God.

*God assures Moses that his older brother, Aaron, will talk for him; Moses will tell Aaron what to say, and Moses will show them the signs that God revealed to him*

Moses (calling Aaron on his cellphone): Bro? Are you busy? We have some important business to take care of. God wants us to free the Jews from captivity. I need your help. You know that I’m not a good talker; you remember how bad it was when I tried to talk to Zipporah at that pool party. It’s a miracle that she married me.

Aaron: Haha! That was hilarious! You were all like, “You’re so pretty. Are those your eyeballs in your head? Your teeth are straight and white.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moses (laughing): Haha, very funny! Seriously, though, I need your help talking to the Jewish elders. I’ll tell you what to say, and I’ll show them the signs that God showed me.

Aaron: I got you, bro. I’ll do all of the talking. We don’t need you sounding like Scooby Doo while delivering God’s messages (re’ve rome ro ralk rith rou!)

Moses: Thank you, bro! I owe you BIG TIME!

*Moses and Aaron go to Egypt, Aaron tells the elders how God is going to free the Israelites from slavery, and Moses shows them the signs that God showed him (the staff-snake, leprosy-healed hand, water-blood)*

Elders: Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! God has answered our prayers and will free our people from this terrible plight! God is good! We love you, God! We worship you, God! We praise you, God! Thank you for hearing our cries! You are wonderful!

-C.N.