Mommy, Where Did Baby Jesus Come From?

By: C.N.

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world! That’s my jam (and the inspiration behind my website banner)! I don’t know about any of you, but I think that newborn babies are adorable (they just make me melt into a blob of chocolate ice cream on the sidewalk! -What did I just step in? Oh, that’s just Carletta. She’ll be alright. Haha)! They’re just so precious, with their little alien language (goo-goo, gaga-gaga, blurblur *random spitting* blurblur), little hands and legs smacking you in the back of the head for no reason (they’re excited to be here, okay?!), and that one little hair in the middle of their heads that stands up and talks to you (Hello. How are you doing this fine day?). Babies are precious, and God smiles down on every child that is born into this world. Relax, parents! We’re not going to get into a discussion of the birds and the bees on this site (that’s your job when the time is right. Haha); as far as I’m concerned, kids, babies come from the stork. Haha Everyone that walks the face of this earth starts out as a baby, and this even included our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (yes! God in the flesh started out as a spit-loving baby!)!

Of course, Jesus Christ being Jesus Christ, he couldn’t come into the world in just any ORDINARY way; he had to make a grand entrance! As the 1st and 2nd Chapters of Luke (Holy Bible) explain to us, Jesus made quite the unique entrance into the world.

The 2nd Chapter of Luke begins with everyone’s favorite-taxes! The Roman emperor had passed an order that everyone in the land had to be a part of a census (count of how many people live in a particular area) and pay taxes (give part of your money to the government to help pay for important services, such as schools, parks, and highways). Mary and Joseph had to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem to take part in this, but Mary was pregnant with Jesus (and they didn’t have computers or cars in those days; they had to either walk or take a horse! I will never complain about having to file my taxes from my couch, on my keister, with a computer again. Haha). Here’s the thing, though: the stork didn’t bring baby Jesus to Mary and Joseph and put him in Mary’s stomach; God sent one of his angels, Gabriel, to visit Mary. Gabriel suddenly appeared to Mary, told her that she was blessed and highly favored, and that God was with her. Mary was scared out of her ever-loving mind when she saw Gabriel, but he told her not to be afraid, told her that God loved her, as well as told her the following:

Luke 1:31-33 (KJV): And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

Mary is giving birth to the son of God?! As I’m sure you all can imagine, Mary gave Gabriel that “whatchu talking about, Willis?!/I just ate too many lemons” stank face; she and Joseph had never “enjoyed each other’s company,” and Mary had never been married to any other man-so how could she be pregnant with Jesus? Gabriel explained to her that the Holy Ghost (the spirit that God sends to help us make good decisions, once we’ve accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior) would cause Jesus to suddenly appear in Mary’s stomach (you can take the day off, Joseph). As if this wasn’t miraculous enough, Gabriel also told Mary that her cousin, Elizabeth (who was at least in her 60s at this point, and had never been able to have children) would also be having a child (who turned out to be John The Baptist, who we’ll discuss in a later post)! Two miracle babies at the same time?! Take that, Gerber (cuteness overload!)! Once Gabriel dropped these baby bombs on Mary (and Mary graciously agreed to let God’s will be done), he left her, and we fast forward to Mary being pregnant with baby Jesus, going with Joseph to pay those taxes!

While Mary and Joseph were in Bethlehem, they couldn’t find a hotel room to save their lives (all of the rooms in all of the inns had been taken-tell Uncle Festus to go home!). The innkeeper wasn’t a complete weenie, though; he saw that Mary was pregnant and allowed them to stay in his stable (which is where the stinky, smelly horses and their hay are! I love horses. Haha). Did this innkeeper seriously just tell the mother and earthly father of JESUS CHRIST, the Messiah, to sleep in a barn with the horses?! He didn’t know, but he better be thanking God that I wasn’t alive during that time; I would have started clowning, y’all! Haha. Mary and Joseph didn’t put up a fight, however, as they were just grateful to have a place to lay their heads (right next to the horses’ b-I’ll behave. Haha). Shortly thereafter, Mary went into labor and had baby Jesus, wrapped him in ripped and dirty clothing, and laid him in a manger (which was where the animals ate their food/drank their water from). Let’s think about this again: our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was born in a smelly barn with the horses, had to lay in a container where the animals ate and drank from, and Mary and Joseph had to sleep on a pile of hay. If that doesn’t show you how much God loved us (to send his son into the world under those conditions, just to save us from our sins), I don’t know what does!

As a group of shepherds were watching over their animals at night, an angel of the Lord appeared before them and said the following:

Luke 2:10-14 (KJV): Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

The Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, has been born (pop the juicy juice!)! The shepherds visited Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, told everyone in Bethlehem what had just happened, Mary reflected on this unique birth (I just gave birth to the Savior of the world!), and they all praised and worshiped God for this divine miracle (Hallelujah!). I have the fuzzies right now! I have to remake this story, y’all (Christmas is coming early! Haha). Put your seatbelts on, and let’s get ready for the ride! NOTE: I will be utilizing modern-day language, technology, and ways of living in this story, as we’re picturing this happening today.

Mommy, Where Did Baby Jesus Come From?

By: C.N.

Biblical Reference: Luke 1:26-38 (KJV), Luke 2:1-20 (KJV)

*Mary and Joseph, the happy newlyweds, are chilling at home-Joe’s mowing the lawn, and Mary’s vacuuming the living room-when an angel of the Lord suddenly appears before Mary*

Gabriel (angel of the Lord): Hey, Mary! How are you doing today? You look beautiful, as always. Did you just get your hair done?! Now that we’ve gotten through the pleasantries, my name is Gabriel, I have been sent by the Lord, and he wanted me to tell you that you are highly favored, truly blessed of God, and are in for a big surprise!

Mary: Who are you, and how did you get into my house?! Joe!

Gabriel: Relax, relax! No need to call your husband in here (he’s a lover, not a fighter). I don’t bite! You don’t have anything to be afraid of. God has smiled down on you and has sent me to tell you that you are going to become pregnant with a son, and his name will be Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

Mary: What are you talking about?! Joe and I haven’t crossed that line yet (that’s another discussion for another day), so there’s no way that I’m pregnant. I’m not a woman of the night, either; I haven’t been with any other men. I know for a fact that I’m not pregnant.

Gabriel: I understand that. The Holy Ghost is going to cause you to become pregnant (no funny business necessary!), and the child that you have will be named Jesus. Not only that, but your cousin, Elizabeth, is 6 months pregnant and will be giving birth to a son as well.

Mary: WHAT?! Cuz?! She’s 65 years old and has never been able to have children. You’re playing with me right now.

Gabriel: I only speak the truth, Mary. Just as God is going to bless you with a son, he’s going to bless Elizabeth with a son as well (I bet Lizzy’s husband is going to LOVE to hear that! You’re what?! You’re pregnant?! How?! I mean, I know how, but us?! At our age?!). Nothing is impossible with God.

Mary: Wow. If God wants me to have this child, then I will.

*Gabriel disappears, and nine months later, while Mary is pregnant and due any minute now (avalanche!), she and Joseph are at their friend’s daughter’s pizza party at the bowling alley.*

Mary (to Joseph): My water is about to break, Joe.

Joseph: Right now?!

Mary: Yes!

Joseph: Help! I need a doctor! My wife is about to have a baby! I’m going to be a father (like he had anything to do with it. Haha)!

Doctor Divine: Hello, Ma’am! Hello, Sir! I am a certified obstetrician (OB/GYN) *he shows off his fancy certificate and medical ID*, and I’m here to help you deliver your baby. We don’t have time to go to the hospital, but I have everything with me to ensure a safe delivery. My mother always said, “Don’t get ready! Stay ready!”

Joseph: God bless you!

Mary: HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!

*Doctor Divine delivers baby Jesus, and he’s happy, healthy, and tired. He needs a nappy. Haha The doctor cleans the baby up, calls for the ambulance, and he, Joe, Mary, and baby Jesus all go to the hospital. While they’re in the hospital, three construction workers, all of whom worship God and are close friends of Mary’s and Joe’s, are confronted by an angel of the Lord. The angel tells them that Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, has been born, he’s at South Suburban Hospital, Room 208, and that they should go visit him and bring gifts (don’t just pop up unannounced and empty handed! Haha). They immediately go to see baby Jesus* 

Three Construction Workers (talking at the same time): Congratulations, you guys! We’re so happy for both of you! An angel told us that y’all were here, and that, Mary, you just gave birth to Jesus Christ, the future Lord and Savior of the world. We’re just proud to know y’all, man! We brought you all baby onesies, diapers, wipes, pacifiers, bottles, and formula. You just let us know what y’all need, and we got y’all! We’re going to tell everyone what just happened! We’ll be back!

Mary (laughing): Go right ahead. I’m just happy that Jesus is happy and safe. Wait until he gets older and we tell him that he was born in a bowling alley. Haha That’s wild!

Joseph (laughing): Honey, you know that you’ve always been in a lane of your own. I love it! I love you!

Mary: I love you too! That’s true. Haha

*The three construction workers return that night*

Three Construction Workers (talking at the same time): We told everyone and their Mamas about this! Praise God! Hallelujah! God is good! Christ Jesus has been born!

Mary and Joseph: Praise God!

-C.N.

 

24 thoughts on “Mommy, Where Did Baby Jesus Come From?

  1. Hey C.N.! Your memes always crack me up. Your humor and well thought-out bedtime stories always captivate my imagination and bring it to a level the kids understand. Thanks for another winner! Now, can you make me a script for the birds and the bees conversation? That’d be great, thanks!

    1. Thank you so much, Laura! I’m so happy that you’re enjoying my stories! God gave me a sense of humor, and I want to use it for his glory. Haha If you’d like me to, I’ll gladly write out a script for the birds and the bees! I have a VERY creative imagination! Haha God bless you!

  2. Hello CN,

    Thank you for this wonderful article. We are amazed at how you have converted the topic into something interesting. Love the way you interject your humor and imagination as well as making the story contemporary and relatable to everyone.

    More power and thanks for sharing your gift.

    1. Thank you so much, JRandZen! I love Jesus, love to laugh, and love people-why not combine all three for the glory of God? I’m so happy that you enjoyed my stories! God bless you!

  3. Hi C.N.,

    I really enjoyed reading your article. I like how you managed to convert the topic. I remember when I was young and my grandmother used to read to me stories from the bible, I always find it hard to pay attention for long as they were a very hard read. I would have loved back then to have the story of Jesus like this.

    Kind regards,
    Yoana

    1. Thank you so much, Yoana! I completely understand about the Bible being hard to read; there were times as a child, and even now, as an adult, where I’ll read a passage of scripture, try my hardest to understand, but will need to ask my Pastor, ask one of my religious elders, or search the internet for the answer. While I understand God’s word much better, I still have questions, but I’m an adult with a really good attention span. Of course, children have much shorter attention spans, especially during those formative years (some may argue as teenagers, but that’s a different story. Haha). As such, I want them to love Jesus, love God’s truth, love to read, and love to learn with “easier to digest,” fun, understandable remakes of Bible stories. I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

  4. It was fun to read a modern version of How Jesus was born. Your explanation will be easily perceivable to our children.
    Let me share my experience with my (now) 4-year-old daughter.
    I am officially catholic although I don’t go to church often.
    Still, I have brought my young daughter to church on my deceased father’s birthday. My father passed away three years ago when my daughter was less than one year old.
    When I visited the church last year, there was a statue of Mary, who was holding deceased Jesus Christ after the crucifixion. My daughter asked me who the guy was and why he was lying like that. I found her question very cute while it was reasonable. I briefly explained, but probably my explanation was not good enough. I thought about how I could explain religion, Jesus, God, etc. to my daughter.
    I believe you are trying to make young children understand about the bible and Jesus Christ. Great efforts and I wish you all the best.

    1. Thank you so much, Jason! Firstly, I am so sorry to hear that your father passed-I send my sincerest condolences. Secondly, I love Jesus Christ, and I want everyone, children and adults alike, to find my stories fun, enjoyable, relatable, and understandable. I find it so important to instill the love of Jesus in children from an early age and often, as these messages and values are more likely to stay with them as they get older (especially as teenagers and into adulthood). I thank God everyday that my grandparents kept us in church, taught us about Jesus Christ, and read the Bible with us-we have all carried those messages with us into our adulthood. I’ll definitely keep the train rolling! God bless you!

  5. Hi CN,
    Love it! Thank you so much for making stories that are relatable and fun – I’m bookmarking them for the future. Don’t have kids of my own yet but I have 9 nieces and nephews all in. I was just wondering, is there a list of like top 5 or top 10 picture books that you’d recommend that have the same type of style as you?

    1. Thank you so much, Martina! I’m a goofball, so why not use my love of laughter for the Kingdom of God? Haha I will gladly look into the top 5 to 10 books for you! I know that I’m not the other one who is jubilant for Jesus! Haha God bless you!

  6. C.N.,
    As always, you have the unique ability to take an age-old story from the bible and make it relevant for children today to understand and enjoy. Nice work…have a great weekend!

    1. Thank you so much, Bob! I want everyone, children and adults alike, to enjoy learning about the Word of God. Have a great weekend! God bless you!

  7. Mary had a little lamb…hahahah! I do not know which pleased me more-this or the story itself! I love it! I did read the others, as well, and they are all equally good. You managed to keep a very adult’s attention, I can imagine what your stories are going to do for children. I really like that you took the mystery out of it and gave it an understandable (by today’s children) and above all a humorous, amusing tone. Thank you, I enjoyed reading them all and sure will the next, if you go on publishing texts like these. I can easily imagine reading your stories to my grandchildren, once I’ll have them!

    1. Thank you so much, Minaher! I love Jesus Christ, love to laugh, and love people-why not combine all three for the glory of God? Haha I want learning about Jesus and the Bible to be as fun, enjoyable, relatable, and understandable as possible. I will certainly keep them coming! God bless you!

  8. Hi CN,
    I am.delighted to be back to your website again.
    I like the way you have presented the story about the birth Jesus in a contemporary way.

    I like that you started the post with the intro, Jesus loves the children.

    I am grateful that you’re unapologetic about Jesus.

    I love what you are doing.

    Thank you

    1. Thank you so much, Ibi! I love Jesus Christ with everything in me, and I will always be unashamed to proclaim his goodness! I am unashamed for Christ! Haha I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

  9. C.N. , I really enjoyed reading this story. You have simplified the story so well. I intend to bring my children up in church and I love that this has given me great ideas on how to tell them bible stories.

    1. Thank you so much, Debbie! I’m so happy that you enjoyed my story! I certainly want everyone, children and adults alike, to enjoy learning about Jesus Christ and the Bible. I have made it my mission to make all of my Bible stories as fun, enjoyable, relatable, and understandable as possible. I will definitely do my part to keep the Bible storytelling inspiration going! Haha God bless you!

    1. Thank you so much, Thimo! I want everyone, children and adults like, to understand and enjoy learning about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and God’s Holy Word. I’m so happy that you enjoyed it! God bless you!

  10. Hello👋
    The story of the birth of Jesus is amazing to me. Joe has to be an amazingly faithful man to believe Mary. Mary had to be completely faithful and of good moral values to be chosen to raise Jesus.
    Two amazing people chosen to raise the savior.
    The family that raised two of the most prominent figures of the New Testament (Jesus and John the Baptist) chosen by God to do the unbelievable.
    Just goes to show we never know what is planned for us. 😀
    .

    1. Thank you so much, Greg! Yes, God definitely chose Joseph and Mary for this purpose, as they possessed the right level of humbleness, gratitude to God, and love for one another and baby Jesus. As long as we’re willing vessels, God can and will do amazing things through us. Nothing is impossible with God, and we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us. God bless you!

  11. Sensational the text and I really liked the way you wrote about something so important, it made the reading more clear and light. Congratulations and God bless you.

    1. Thank you so much, Roberto! It’s so important for the world to know and become better acquainted with Jesus Christ; our Lord and Savior is coming back for his bride (the Church). With everything going on in the world today, this world needs to feel the love and power of Jesus Christ; his love will always trump the evil, sin, and hate that is running rampant in our world today. I will definitely keep the stories coming! God bless you!

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