That’s A Good Samaritan!

By: C.N.

Could we all stop losing our minds for one second, please?! Put the bats down, step away from the 7-11, and drop the hotdog; you’re not the Tasmanian Devil (though morning breath, unbrushed teeth, and your head looking like Buckwheat might cause me to retract that statement. Haha)! There is a lot going on in the world today, and in light of it all, we must keep our eyes on Jesus. God loved us so much that he sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins, that if we believed in him (Jesus Christ), we would not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16). Jesus is love-he was a perfect man who never sinned, yet still loved our nappy-headed behinds (This is not a race joke! I consider all of us sinful scoundrels, regardless of race or hair texture, to be nappy-headed. Haha) enough to die on the Cross for our sins (Hallelujah!). This type of love should make us ready to dance like David in the streets (if the people outside are flipping cars over and hosting unplanned bonfires, dancing in your house is just fine. Haha); we shouldn’t care how crazy we look (I’m so happy in Jesus that you could throw a boomerang at my face, and I’d still be smiling; I’d just have a smile with a few less teeth).

What must we do to inherit this eternal life (live with God Almighty and Jesus in Heaven forever after we die)? Aside from our ABCs (Admit that we’re sinners and ask God for forgiveness; Believe that Jesus Christ died on the Cross for our sins, rose again on the 3rd day, is in Heaven with God Almighty, and is coming back for his children; Commit our lives to following him (live for Jesus the rest of our lives)), Jesus Christ himself answers this question for us through a story. Let us now visit the Parable of the Good Samaritan in the Bible.

In the 10th Chapter of Luke, Jesus is in the middle of his three-year earthly ministry, teaching and preaching about the Kingdom of God (mainly in Galilee and Judea, though also in surrounding areas like Perea and Samaria). As Jesus goes from city to city and town to town (Road trip! I call shotgun!), teaching the people about God’s love, he has a conversation with a lawyer (Aye! Legal field, stand up!), who asks him what he has to do to receive eternal life. Jesus gives the lawyer a pop-quiz (everyone’s favorite!), asking him what the law says about this; the lawyer says that he must love God with all of his heart, soul, strength, and mind, and must also love his neighbor. Jesus is pleased that the lawyer has given the correct answer (say hello to your new car!), but the lawyer is a little confused (and not in a coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs type of way): who is his neighbor? Jesus explains who our neighbor is through the Parable of the Good Samaritan (get your popcorn ready!).

A certain young lad went from Jerusalem to Jericho (Break the walls down! Break down the walls! Sorry. Old wrestling memory. Haha), where he was robbed, beaten, and left for dead by a group of thieves (Oh no they didn’t! Where’s my belt?!). A priest passed by the injured man, but didn’t stop to help him (he walked on the other side-trifling!). Shortly afterwards, a Levite passed by the injured man, but he also didn’t stop to help him (he walked on the other side as well-double trifling!). Shortly after that (the third time is about to be the charm, y’all!), a Samaritan was traveling along the path, and when he saw the injured man on the ground, he stopped and helped him (YES! FINALLY!). The Samaritan, feeling bad for the man and having compassion on him, poured oil and wine on his wounds, bandaged him up, put the man on his donkey, brought him to an inn, and took care of him (That’s my boy right there! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop!).

The next day, the Samaritan paid the innkeeper two denarii (those ancient dolla-dolla bills, y’all!) to take care of the injured man, and he told the innkeeper to let him know if he (the innkeeper) had to spend more than that to care for the man; the Samaritan promised to reimburse (pay back) the innkeeper for any extra expenses he incurred (Who’s cutting onions right now? I’m not crying! You’re crying! I’m just hot right now! That’s sweat rolling down my face! Yeah…you heard me…it’s sweat. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Haha). Jesus asked the lawyer which of the three men-the priest, the Levite, or the Samaritan-acted as a neighbor to the injured man; the lawyer correctly answered that the Samaritan was the man’s neighbor, as he showed mercy to the man and helped him in his time of need (Amen!). Jesus simply responded by saying the following:

Luke 10: 37 (KJV)Go, and do thou likewise.

Jesus told the lawyer to do what the Samaritan did-love, have mercy on, and help those around him-the same thing God wants us to do today. Let’s love one another, help one another, be merciful to one another (not give one another the punishment that we deserve), be gracious toward one another (give one another the good things/blessings that we don’t deserve), and forgive one another (as God forgives us of our sins). MAN! I can’t wait to remix this one! Put your phones and cameras down (the hooplah will still be going on outside once the article’s over. Haha), pop a cold one (water, juice, tea, milk, or pop, kids! None of that funny business!), and let’s dive in! Cannonball!!!! NOTE: I will be utilizing modern-day language, technology, and ways of living in this story, as we’re picturing this happening today.

That’s A Good Samaritan!

By: C.N.

Biblical Reference: Luke 10:25-37 (KJV/NIV)

*A group of juvenile delinquents (someone call their mothers!) have just robbed a man and beaten him within an inch of his life; he’s laying on the sidewalk (in that not-so-cute fetal position), in need of immediate medical attention. A few people walk by this unfortunate soul; will he get the help that he needs?*

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): OUCH! I can’t feel my legs! I can’t feel my legs! I’m going to get those criminals, if it’s the last thing I do! They took my wallet (with his $3.27 in it; I’m just kidding! Haha), my phone, and my keys (took all of his keys-house, mailbox, car; those nimrods just drove off in his new Corolla!)! I’m looking like Hobo Joe right now! I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mac truck! This isn’t fair! Help! Help! Someone please help me!

*A priest is out for a leisurely stroll in the neighborhood, and is approaching the injured man*

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): Sir?! Sir?! Please help me. I’ve just been robbed and beaten within an inch of my life; they took everything-my wallet, my phone, my car, everything. I need a ride to the hospital. Will you please call an ambulance for me?

Priest (who feels the need to speak in rhymes for some reason): Jesus is King, God is love, all of your help comes from Heaven above. You’re bloody and dirty, not as cute as a dove, I cannot provide the help that you speak of.

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): What are you talking about, Man?! Why can’t you help me?! I’m bleeding to death right now! I need to get to the hospital immediately! Do you want me to die out here? Please help me!

Priest (still speaking in rhymes for no reason): God is love, Christ is King, if you have him, you have everything. I don’t give rides or make phone calls without some ching-ching (is this fool really talking about gas money right now?!), I must be getting to rehearsal, it’s my night to sing.

*The priest crosses the street and keeps walking. Don’t be surprised if he trips while walking; God doesn’t like ugly. Haha*

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): I can’t believe him! He probably wasn’t a real priest anyway (with that plastic hat that he stole from Burger King; he’s such a poser. Haha). Help! Someone please help me! I’m about to die. I need a doctor immediately!

*A Levite man is going for his afternoon jog, and approaches the injured man*

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): Sir?! Sir?! Please help me! I’ve been robbed, beaten, and left for dead. They took everything-my wallet, my phone, my car, everything. I need a ride to the hospital. Would you please call an ambulance for me?

Levite Man (scared to death of the man!): Stay away from me, dude! My parents warned me about people like you! You lie and say that you’re hurt or that you need a ride, I say yes, you get in my car, you pull a gun or some sort of weapon out of your pants, and I end up on ABC News! You’re not about to get me-I wasn’t born yesterday! I’m smarter than a 5th grader and the average bear! Nice try, loser!

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): Wait! I’m not lying! I really do need help! Please!

Levite Man: I shun you with this rabbit’s foot!

*The Levite crosses the street and jogs on the other side. Watch him run into a light pole. JKJKJK*

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): Please help me, God. Please help me, Jesus. If you’re there, please help me. I’m about to die right now. I’m sorry for every bad thing that I’ve ever done; please forgive me and help me to do better. I need your help, Jesus.

*A Good Samaritan is driving down the street, when he sees the injured man, leaps out of his car, and goes over to help him-Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy Day!*

Good Samaritan: Oh my goodness! What happened to you, Sir?! I saw you down the street, and I’m here to help you.

Injured Man (writhing in pain and bleeding): Thank you so much! Three guys robbed me, beat me within an inch of my life, and left me for dead. They took everything from me-my wallet, my phone, my car-, and no one has tried to help me.

Good Samaritan: Say no more! I’m taking you to the hospital right now! It’ll be much quicker than waiting for an ambulance. The traffic light is broken, and there aren’t any cops around-I can get away with going 85mph in a 30mph lane (Kids, I don’t suggest breaking the law. Haha Do try to help the man, though. Haha).

Injured Man (in pain, but smiling for the first time today): Thank you so much! Thank you, Jesus!

*The Good Samaritan rushes the man to the hospital, gets him the help that he needs, and stays there until the man is being treated*

Good Samaritan (to the man’s attending doctor and the front desk crew): Good evening, everyone. Here is a check to cover the man’s medical bills up to this point. When you all are done treating him, send me the bill (he gives the doctor and hospital his name, address, and phone number); I will pay his medical bills in full (Bless his heart! He must be rich. Haha). I want him to focus on getting better; I don’t want him to worry about how he’s going to pay his medical bills.

Hospital (everyone at once): Will do (of course you all will. Haha)! Thank you so much! God bless you!

Good Samaritan: Thank you all for treating him. God bless you all as well!

*The Good Samaritan leaves the hospital, feeling convicted by his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to help the injured man in his time of need. He’s going to pay the man’s medical bills-that vacation to Jamaica may have to wait now (tickets are only $15 right now!). Haha. No worries, though. God will certainly bless him*

-C.N.

 

50 thoughts on “That’s A Good Samaritan!

    1. Thank you so much, Christy! With so much evil in the world today, it’s so important for us to remember that Jesus loves us, God is in control, and love will always trump hate. Satan, get thee behind us in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! God bless you!

  1. What a read. We need Jesus Christ more than ever. With him and our Heavenly Father we will get through this. Crazy time right now, but what you point out is the key difference. I needed this today. Thank you 🙂

    1. Thank you so much, AJ! Yes, this world certainly needs Jesus; we have delved so far into sin, hate, and evil, that it’s heartbreaking. Current events are Biblical prophecy being fulfilled, and we must take it seriously and get our houses in order (and help others to get their houses in order). Though times are chaotic, Jesus defeated Satan, sin, death, and Hell when he rose on the 3rd day, with all power in his hands. He loves us, and his love will always trump the greatest of hate in the world. Let us love and help one another, and this world will be a better place. God bless you!

  2. I never get tired of these humorous takes on Bible stories. This one was actually one of my favorites! Keep up the great work C.N.!

    1. Thank you so much, Alejandro! I’m so happy that you’re enjoying the stories! I’m goofy, and I definitely want that to be reflected in my modern-day remixes. Haha With the world being in the turmoil that it’s in, it’s so important that we show the love of Jesus Christ amongst each other. God bless you!

  3. Hi Carletta,
    I like the Christian bedtime stories as every story teaches us a moral. I use to read these stories at our school library. Christ teaches us many moral and I still memorize one of his sayings: If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.
    Have a great day
    Rania

    1. Thank you so much, Rania! I definitely want to instill the values of Christ in every story that I write-this world desperately needs Jesus. With current events, it’s so important for us to remember to help each other, love each other, support each other, and truly display the love of Jesus Christ to one another. Love is the glue that holds us together, and it’s the driving force that will get us through these trying times. God bless you!

    1. Thank you so much, Nevroy! This world desperately needs Jesus Christ, and he’s calling for us to love and help one another. Love is the glue that will hold us together and help to stop all of the hate, violence, evil, and sin running rampant in our world today. God is the answer. God bless you!

    1. You’re welcome, Tanya! Jesus Christ is the light of the world, and he’ll always shine, regardless of the sin, evil, hate, and chaos going on in our world today. I’m so happy that I could help make your day a little better! God bless you!

  4. First of all, I would like to thank you for addressing the way the world is today from a stance of humor and lightheartedness. With so much negative 24/7, it’s nice to throw a curveball in every once in a while lol. Thank you for this read as well. My niece is going on 1 1/2 and I’ve been looking for some books for when she actually starts reading. This will definitely be one of them.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Kaeli! This world desperately needs Jesus, and I want to present him to the world in a fun, understandable and enjoyable way. I hope that you and your niece enjoy them! I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

    1. Thank you so much, Mohammed! Jesus Christ teaches us to love and serve our fellow man, and with current events, I found it so important (as always) to remind the world of just this. We are all God’s children, fearfully and wonderfully made, and God means for us to love him and love our neighbors as ourselves. When we do this, this world will be a better place. God bless you!

  5. Hmmmm! What a surprise!! You just made me believe there are still people out there who love God and neighbor in this loveless world . (Matthew 24:12 says the love of many will cool off). But your love is still very hot.

    You must be a chosen vessel by God. Continue the good work, C.N. Even if you cannot save the world (only Jesus can), but you may be able to help some souls to get saved.

    I really appreciate the moral lesson in your story. It struck a responsive cord in my heart. I will try as much as I can to be a good Samaritan, to make myself a neighbor to people I come across.

    Thank you for having the moral strength to be different.

    My kind regards,
    Ufumski

    1. Thank you so much, Ufumski! With the world being in the condition that it’s in, it’s so important for all of us to be reminded that Jesus Christ is love, he meant for us to love and support one another (not hate, abuse, and kill one another), and that love will always trump hate. I love to help people, and I just pray, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, that this world will repent, turn from its’ sins and wickedness, will ask Jesus Christ into its’ life as its’ Lord and Savior, and will follow him, that no one will perish, but have everlasting life. God bless you!

  6. In times of sadness and negativity, we need some good humour and laughs to remind us that we can still have a good time, and that we must praise and worship the Lord to get you through. Thank you for this post. I really enjoyed it.

    1. Thank you so much, Luvuyo! I love Jesus and love to laugh-it just made sense to combine the two. With the world in the condition that it’s in, we all need to be reminded that we are to love and help each other, not tear down and destroy each other. Only with God’s help will this world survive. God bless you!

  7. Hey,

    This is a great story and a lot of children could do with being read and explained this from their parents. With the way of the world at the moment and the situation in America, we could all really do with more Good Samaritans.

    I have seen a lot more kindness since lockdown, and I have tried my best to be kinder with others too.

    Keep your stories coming and I hope that a lot of children and adults find your site and read.

    Thank you for sharing and keep up the great work.

    All the best,

    Tom

    1. Thank you so much, Tom! I want the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Christ’s love to run rampant in our world; love will always trump hate. It’s a shame that so many people choose sin, evil, hate, and wickedness to express themselves; God meant for us to love him and love our neighbors as ourselves. Only with love will this world survive. God bless you!

  8. Hi, I love your sense of humor and your rendition of the good Samaritan story, it’s very enjoyable to read! 😀 And I really love your site, I will definitely get back to your site sometime!

    God bless,
    Kelly

    1. Thank you so much, Kelly! I love Jesus Christ, love to laugh, and love people-why not combine all three for the glory of God? Haha I’m so happy that you’re enjoying my site, and I look forward to seeing you again! God bless you!

  9. Another great story! I like the way you interpret the Bible in a way that anyone can enjoy these stories. I read a few of them before, and this one is equally good, if not even better. Keep up with the great work!

  10. Hi,

    What a wonderful read as always.

    The good samaritan is a “philosophy” that I’ve always believed in. You reap what you shall sow (although I do try to do good for others without any expectation of anything in return).

    I caught myself in the midst of Y2J with the mere mention of Jericho (break the walls down!) and I’m glad to see it wasn’t just me.

    Keep up the fantastic work, it’s always a joy to read everthing you have written.
    Partha

    1. Thank you so much, Partha! I too try to help people out of the goodness out of my heart, not expecting anything in return. The Bible teaches us that it’s better to give than to receive, and when we give from our hearts, God will bless us 10x over anyway. I love Chris Jericho-that won’t ever change. Haha I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

  11. You are such a talented writer. You use humour so well in these stories, stories that don’t actually give themselves well humour. You should really think about making your blog into a book. I bet it would sell well. It’s a great way for kids to learn about morality. A really entertaining read once again, thank you.

    1. Thank you so much, Debbie! I would love to make these stories into a book, and if enough interest is there (and my finances allow for it…Haha), I’ll definitely go that route! God bless you!

  12. While I don’t believe in interpreting the Bible literally, especially when considering how much of the original information has been lost and transformed through translation, I do think the core teachings are exactly what you need to be a decent human being. I also think there is a very important spiritual teaching in it. It is that love is the only thing that should matter. That’s what the good Samaritan story conveys. Loving not only your neighbor but the whole wonder of creation. I also believe that Jesus was an enlightened man who knew this and he used metaphors to get the message through to a wider population.

    1. Thank you so much, Chuck! I fully understand where you’re coming from, and agree that the Bible has been translated hundreds of times, and is missing some of its’ original information. Jesus Christ is love, and he teaches us to love him, love one another, and love this entire world. God created this world and everything in it, and has allowed us to be the overseers of his beautiful creation until Jesus Christ comes back. It’s a shame that we, as a people, have done such a poor job listening to him, loving one another, and protecting his world. We’ll all have to answer to him one day. God bless you!

  13. For sure I’m not the one that I can judge this, but the one that should follow it. You do an amazing work here C.N., I hope you will continue.

    1. Thank you so much, Anestis! None of us are perfect, but thank God that Jesus still loves our raggedy behinds anyway. Haha I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

    1. Thank you so much, Sammi! This world desperately needs Jesus Christ and to spread his love right now (as always). I wanted to remind all of us (myself included) that God means for us to love, help, and support one another, not destroy, tear down, abuse, and kill one another. Only through Christ’s love will this world survive. God bless you!

  14. I agree, we all need the Bible instilled into our brains again as it was instilled upon us. No the world wasn’t the perfect place back then or did everyone get along but I do believe less evil was created among people. I had a hard time accepting the Bible when I was a kid just like many kids however the principles behind the bible were taught and many of those principles are required to be successful even in business today. It’s sad that so many people today just don’t see these principles or rules of life written within the pages of the Bible.

    I don’t believe in adding smart remarks, criticism to a Bible story especially when telling it to young kids because I believe you are then teaching kids to talk and act in such a manner to each other. If we change the bible to the way we all feel it should be told then there is no Bible anymore. Even today because the Bible was changed between religions it has caused a lot of unbelievers among us.

    I believe if you want to relay the message of the Bible to kids you should do it in a respectable and professional manner. Trying to compare the stories of the Bible to today’s world is very difficult because the world didn’t know how to read and write 2000 years ago. Cheers

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Rick. I respect everyone’s opinion, even if I don’t agree with it. To your point about presenting the Bible in a respectful and professional manner, I never mean any disrespect with my remarks or modern interpretations of God’s Word. I simply want to break it down in language and terms that today’s children will understand. Oftentimes, children aren’t interested in reading the Bible because they can’t understand what it’s saying. Similarly, children don’t have the attention spans that adults do, and I find that humor helps to keep them engaged and focused on what they’re reading. I want this entire world, children and adults alike, to receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ and give their lives to Jesus Christ-Heaven is waiting for its’ angels. I want to use modern language and humor to break the Bible down so that everyone, children especially, can follow it, know what it’s saying, and want to continue learning about it (children like to come back to things that give them enjoyment). Again, I respect your opinion, you’re entitled to it, and I welcome all opinions on this site, but I just wanted to outline where I was coming from. God bless you!

  15. Great article, thank you for this, I was laughing and praying at the same time lol
    It’s important to remember everything happens for a reason and we need to survive these bad times, pray for better days and be thankful for what we have.
    Keep up the good work:)

    1. Thank you so much, Agnieszka! I love using my God-given abilities to lead people to him (we are to use our talents to lead lost souls to Jesus Christ and truth). Everything certainly happens for a reason, and God is using these trying times to bring the world back to him, revive his Church (the body of believers), and prepare his army for the spiritual war that we’re in. I’m ready to be on the front lines for Jesus! I will definitely keep them coming! God bless you!

  16. Interesting stories. It seems that love is the solution that can help heal this world. We have forgotten who we are as humans. Only love/Jesus can lead us back to a place of our origin where everything converge a place that link us to the source.

    1. Thank you so much, Maggie! The world is so full of sin, hate, and evil, and Jesus Christ will always be the answer. We are all created equally, fearfully and wonderfully made by the hands of God. So many people have used God’s gift to put themselves above their fellow man, and the results have been and always will be catastrophic. We need the love of Jesus Christ-he’s the doctor that can and will heal this entire world. God bless you!

  17. Great job, Carletta!
    I love this story and it’s great to teach children about empathy. When God tells us to love our neighbours, He means every neighbour! Not just the ones we like.
    This story shows how God takes care of us. He can do miracles, of course, but He also loves to use us as His hands in this world. What a great example of this!
    Thanks again, and God bless you,
    Suzanne

    1. Thank you so much, Suzanne! Jesus Christ is love, and he wants us to show one another the unconditional love that he shows us (it’s much harder for us to do, given our sinful nature). I always try to help others, because I don’t know their life stories, I don’t know what they’ve been through, and it’s not my place to say who does or doesn’t deserve assistance. I am simply going to do God’s will, and he will take care of the rest. God bless you!

  18. Thank you for revealing what Jesus wants for us to have an eternity with God. I did not know that loving your neighbor meant. I just thought it was literally your neighbor but I now know it means people around us. Thanx again Carletta

    1. Thank you so much, Thabo! Jesus is God’s son, and has been equipped with a Heavenly knowledge that only God Almighty could provide him with. He wants us to love, serve, support, and encourage one another, whether relative, friend, neighbor, stranger, or otherwise. We are all God’s children and a part of God’s family, and he wants us to treat one another as such. If we would take Jesus Christ and his teachings seriously, this world would be a much better place. God bless you!

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