Christmas: Whatchu’ Talking About, Willis?!?!
By: Carletta Traylor aka C.N.
Hey, y’all! What’s crack-a-lackin’ (for those of you wondering what the blip I just said, that’s slang for “How are you all doing this fine day?” Haha)?! My, how time flies! I could have sworn that we were just here a month ago, talking about spending ridiculous amounts of money on food (watch Uncle Greg pull another okie-doke on everyone and buy 3 PRE-MADE apple pies from Wal-Mart! You didn’t bake these yourself! LIAR! Just kidding. Jesus and I still love you. Haha), watching our favorite football teams get embarrassed on national television (yes, I’m a Bears fan. Haha), and witnessing “close” family members pretend to like each other for the sake of Momma’s sweet potato pie (we should always LOVE one another, but we may not always LIKE one another. There is a difference. Haha). We’re at it again!
Thanksgiving is behind us, and Christmas is now upon us. You all know what this means! It’s time for me to make my “Christmas isn’t about Santa Claus (aka Mommy & Daddy. Haha), trees and getting presents” speech! Oh, goodie! Here we go! Haha. In all seriousness, Christmas is NOT about Santa Claus (aka Grandma & Grandpa. Haha), Christmas trees, spending as much money as possible on food and presents (we’re gaining 5 pounds tonight!), and getting as many presents as you can. The true meaning of everyday (not only during special occasions or holidays), should be to celebrate our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ-not only his birth, but his entire existence (his birth, his life, his death, his resurrection (he rose from the dead, y’all!), and his ascension back into Heaven (he went back to Heaven, y’all! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s JESUS!).
I’d like to make a very important point here (don’t shoot me! I’m just the messenger. Haha). Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was NOT born on December 25th; records show that he was likely born during a) the festival of Succot, which takes place during the month of October, or b) during the springtime, between March and early June. Additionally, Christmas is in line with the birthdays of Nimrod, Osiris and Jupiter, all of whom were/are fake, phony, fraudulent, second-rate, impostor “gods” (the only true God is God Almighty, who sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die on the Cross for our sins. The true God is one being in three different forms: God the Father (God Almighty), God the Son (Jesus Christ), and God the Holy Spirit (the Holy Spirit, which lives within us to guide us once we’ve asked Jesus Christ into our lives as our Lord and Savior)). The Christmas tree itself is a symbol of these pagan (not having anything to do with God/Jesus Christ), Fruit Loop-loving “gods;” the Bible makes clear that we shouldn’t decorate Christmas trees:
Jeremiah 10:2-5 (KJV)–Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.
Ouch! God just gave us a divine leg drop, y’all (move around, Hulk Hogan! Haha)! God makes clear in the book of Jeremiah that we should not decorate Christmas trees, we should not prop them up in our houses, and by doing so, we are actually living as the heathen (unsaved, unchurched, ratchet folk. Don’t get mad at me! I’m just saying! Haha) live. I know that some of you are ready to click out of this article now (how dare she tell me that I can’t celebrate Christmas! Who does she think she is?!?! I don’t have to listen to her! I’m not a bad person for celebrating Christmas! Talk to the hand, ‘cause the face isn’t listening! Blady-blady-blah. So forth and such which. Haha), and I know that this is a hard truth for some of us to accept (we’ve been so used to decorating trees, putting gifts under them and celebrating Christmas!). However, I want all of us to live la vida loca (that crazy good life! I see you, Ricky Martin! Haha) with Jesus in Heaven forever, and as such, I had to spill the smoked baked beans. Haha.
God does say the following about celebrating holidays, however:
Romans 14: 5-6 (KJV)–One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.
If we decide to celebrate a particular day, it should be to praise God, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If we decide not to celebrate a particular day, it should be to praise God, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Whatever we eat (bring on the strawberry cheesecake! I love cheese! I should have been born in Wisconsin! Oh, wait. Then I’d have to be a Packers fan. Never mind. Haha jkjkjkjk I’m just kidding, Packers fans! Jesus and I love you too! The Bears aren’t doing squat right now. Haha) or don’t eat should be to praise God, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus! God is good! Pass the cranberry sauce!).
With this in mind, while I no longer celebrate Christmas (for the reasons mentioned above), whether or not you all decide to celebrate Christmas is completely up to you (and between you and God. Haha). I will never try to FORCE anyone to think the way that I think; that’s not cute (it’s actually quite annoying and grounds for me *hypothetically* sticking my foot so far up someone’s behind that he or she throws up my toenail polish as blood. Haha. Please forgive me, Lord! Y’all know that I need help! Say no to violence, kids! Jesus loves you!). I just wanted to drop this nugget of knowledge on you all. Haha.
For those of you who have never heard of Jesus before or understand why people like me make such a big fuss over him (Hi, my name’s Carletta! I love Jesus, love to laugh, and love people. I’m cornier than the cob and cheesier than Kraft macaroni! Just call be a cornball for Christ! I’m about that life. Best side! Haha), allow me to explain what it means to be saved (i.e. go to Heaven when we die and party with Jesus forever!!!). Being saved is as simple as ABC:
· Admit that we’re sinners, and ask God to please forgive us of our sins (bad things that we say, do, don’t do, and/or think, that God doesn’t like) and help us to stop sinning (Please clean me up, Lord! I’m hot garbage, dipped in excrement, sprinkled in chitling grease on the inside (just STANKY!)!).
· Believe that Jesus Christ is God’s son, that he died on the Cross for our sins, that he rose from the dead (3 days later) with all power in his hands, that’s he’s back in Heaven with God Almighty right now, and that he’s coming back to get his children (take all believers home with him to Heaven) and to judge/destroy this wicked world.
· Commit ourselves to following Jesus Christ (listen to him and live for him forevermore).
If we do these things, we’ll be living it up with Jesus in Heaven forever, y’all (Aye! Turn up! Ain’t no party like a Holy Ghost party, ‘cause a Holy Ghost party don’t stop! Party over here! Ooh-ooh! Party over here! Ooh-ooh! Haha)-endless food and fun for the family!
In case you all wanted to learn more about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, please allow me to refer you all to a few of my previous posts (let’s call it Throwback Thursday! FUN!):
1) Jesus’s Birth: Mommy, Where Did Baby Jesus Come From?
2) Jesus’s Life: Joe, Where Did Jesus Go?!?!
3) Jesus’s Death: Jesus+A Tree=I’ve Been Set Free!
4) Jesus’s Resurrection: Jesus Rose Like a G…OD.
I’ll soon be doing an article on Jesus’s ascension back into Heaven (he’s sitting pretty with the best seat in the house, y’all! He’s sitting right next to God the Father (God Almighty) on his Heavenly throne!). Stay tuned!
Given the fact that I did not outline a particular Bible story today, I will not do a modern-day remix of it (no worries, though! I’m not THAT trifling! Haha). I won’t leave you all hanging like that, though! For those of you who will be celebrating Christmas (again, no judgment. That’s between you and God. Haha), I have included a wonderful video from Sharefaith Kids, which explains Jesus’s birth (otherwise known as the Nativity Story) beautifully (it’s so adorable and colorful! Haha).
Sharefaith Kids-Mary and Joseph Christmas Story For Kids-Luke 2 (YouTube):
I hope that you all enjoyed today’s post (or at least aren’t having dreams about dropping me off of the Empire State Building. I’m sorry! I had to tell the truth! Haha)! I pray that you all enjoy the rest of your weeks, eat plenty of good food (I’m salivating like Fluffy (the doggie!) just thinking about it! Haha), spend quality time with your friends and family (you know that you want to!), and thank God for all that he has brought us through (especially with the year that we’ve had. Haha). If there be nothing else, I love you all, God bless you all, and I’ll see you all on the next one!